Building Your Confidence Processing Your Emotions Starting to Online Date Meeting Your Date Community Q&A Online dating is an increasingly common way to meet new potential romantic partners.It’s quick, convenient, and lets you get to know a potential match before you ever even meet them face-to-face.If life were one big bumper car game, and we were all afraid of getting hurt, we would be a little more gentle with each other, wouldn’t we be? But unless you have very, very strong convictions to be single for the rest of your life (hey there, my nuns sisters! We’ve all received the memo, and we are all okay with it. If you are afraid to enter a relationship because you don’t think you have time, there is a much bigger problem, here, and it has nothing to do with relationships. Are they leading to actual, legitimate reasons for concern? (I wish someone would have pounded this into my brain years ago.) If you really want to be in that relationship, you will make it work because you won’t see any other option.So let’s just all agree to be more honest with each other about our feelings, and more kind to one another in our relationships, and hope that some asshole doesn’t break the rules and ram us from out of nowhere, sending us to the chiropractor. You are hiding behind your work/hobby/Law & Order obsession! If your job is standing in the way of the possibility of you feeling happy and fulfilled in a relationship and in love, what else will it stand in the way of? Say the girl you have been seeing always wears culottes. And it drives you crazy and makes you uncomfortable and makes you think “ehh I don’t… Long distance relationships are a shit-ton of work.Add technology to the mix and you get fear of change, doubled.When people began forming connections online, romantic or otherwise, the anonymity the internet allowed was terrifying.
I should know; I'm that girl in the group who is always single and constantly surrounded by friends in relationships. I love my freedom and taking risks, and I can be stubbornly fearless at times.
Skepticism and fear are typical reactions to technology that changes how people connect.
My colleague Derek Thompson, who interviewed Wolfe at the Washington Ideas Forum, brought up a 1909 song by Irving Berlin, warning women against dating men who own cars.
Who isn’t on some level fearful or resistant to, not just falling in love, but in love? Robert Firestone’s theory of the “fear of intimacy” and was heavily inspired by more than 30 years of examples of clients, co-workers, friends, family members and countless individuals I’ve encountered across the world who’ve opened up to me about their relationship struggles. How can we overcome our fears of intimacy to find and maintain the love we so desire?
Almost every one of us can relate to at least a couple of the ways we defend ourselves, self-protect and self-sabotage when it comes to love. The first step to not acting on our fears is to recognize that we have them.