No one else can tell you what you are feeling, so only by being in touch with your own emotions can you know if you’re ready.Everyone mourns differently, so widows/widowers must be careful not to let other people dictate the speed of their recovery.”“Too many variables to say what is right for anyone the old year thing is probably wise as a minimum. I didn’t quite make the 1 year wait to date thing…and I made a mess, I think I will use 5 years to remarry as a minimum.“This is variable, and having been married to a widower, been widowed and later marrying another widower as well as encountering several men on the widow/widower board, I have noticed that men seem to be ready earlier than women.
Keogh says that overwhelming feelings of guilt can be an indication that you’re not quite ready to get back out there.
Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.
For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.
Keogh also writes that it’s natural for your date to want to know about your late spouse if he didn't know him while he was alive.
It’s ok for you to share something about your late spouse as long as you can change the subject and show an interest in the person you’re dating now.